by Weltraumbesty / KRP, 7th January, 2025
We're glad to see that you made it. Few have, or ever will. You should be proud to count yourself among those few, those elite who have reached this alpha of creation, this nexus of triumph and despair, this strange and final resting place of we who have for generations wandered the stars in search of a new mysteroid to call home. We have given up the rabble-rousing of our species' youth, our atomic war-making and traffic accidents. Those of us who made it are older now, wisened, or at the least, very tired. Too tired by miles to go about hurling atoms. We promise.
Welcome, then, to the first page of Weltraumbesty.
It was written by a very sleepy man, fresh of forty, at a little after eleven one crisp and clear winter evening. It was a week into the then new year of 2025, and for some fucking reason he was writing a website.
Most of the evening was spent composing the framework of the website itself from the most basic of tools, first learned by Weltraumbesty while he was fucking around in a high school computer class two and a half decades prior, a tool he hadn't thought he'd ever us again.
Basic. Fucking. Html.
But for all things there was a season, and middle age found Weltraumbesty in a rut, just as it did so many others. He had become sick of what had become the norm; sick of the content managers and the forced "social" connectivity, sick of the soulless and bewildering same-ification of it all. He just wanted to write, write goddammit, as he had done so prolifically (...if not especially well) in that halcyon age when both he and his beloved series of tubes were younger, spryer, sparking with potentiality, and far less predictable.
He just wanted to write.
And so it was that on that crisp clear Winter evening in the then-new year of 2025, he said, "fuck it," to all the horse shit he was sick of and wrote this, the first page of Weltraumbesty.
Amen.
By way of a more proper introduction... I am Kevin / KRP / Weltraumbesty, and for whatever reason I made this. Most of the above is true, save for the outer space connection, but you're free to believe whatever you want on that count.
I have intended this to be a pretty simple website, as should be evident from the layout. As such you may find it lacking the conveniences afforded by Wordpress et al - no sidebars, no "search" script, nothing beyond a basic index (including keywords and dates for each page) and an ongoing series of pages connected by linear "previous / next" links. I would also like to apologize for the choice of a monospace font, but I'm afraid my condition is terminal.
Why's are always more complicated than what's, and aside from a generalized middle-age malaise I have little other excuse to offer for why this site exists as it does. I've been on a bit of a tear for the last year and more, kicking my bad social media habits and rethinking the ways in which I engage with the internet more broadly (in addition to the stock self-improvements of better diet and more exercise). Over the recent holidays I also booted Microsoft Windows from my life for good (. . . again), and while neither a switch to open source OSes nor the other changes I've made have served to decomplicate anything for me, quite the contrary in fact, they have helped me to achieve a sense of involvement in my own life that I've found lacking for a long time now. And so, in this moment at the start of 2025, more than twenty years after I was first kicking around on Angelfire, this feels correct to me. That may change, and time will tell.
Whatever brought you here, I thank you for reading. I hope you got something out of it. And if you didn't, well, I'll try harder next time. Probably.
if you enjoyed this shit then please consider throwing us a buck or two. we wander the wastes of intergalactic space in search of a new home, free from war and traffic accidents, and are powered by coffee alone. thank you.
© Weltraumbesty // KRP // Kevin Pyrtle